~CrimsonPassion

Someone catch the 9000th pageview, they get a gift (I think!) or my next deviation dedicated!

Yeah!

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I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”

—IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG … REPOST THIS ON YOUR JOURNAL/BLOG

I just read this from ~xXRealBoysKissBoysXx's journal. It really made me stop and think how many people like me experience homophobia









AWESOME QUOTE FROM *Monochrome-Rainbows :
"Adam, don't make more boys like you, it's slim pickins here, SLIM PICKIN'S!"

New journal, cause my old one was old! That was redundant

So, I haven't had a chance to take more polaroids, but that's okay. Good news, I have a new roommate! My friend Tim moved into my room, and now it's amazingly sweet. We have a bamboo rug and awesome space, and making coffee-ness almost every morning!

So, the emo-ness is kinda gone, I would elaborate, but I'm currently not in the mood to.

Also, I'm going to post my schedule for next week (2/4 - 2/10):

Monday
Electrics Crew (Williams) 11 AM - 1:30 PM
Comp II 1:30 PM - 2:20 PM
World Civ I 3:30 PM - 4:20 PM
'Bang Bang You're Dead' Rehearsal 5 PM - 8 PM

Tuesday
Stage Tech 9:30 AM - 10:45 AM
Electrics Crew (Williams) 11 AM - 2 PM
Stage Graphics 2 PM - 3:15 PM
Electrics Crew (Williams) 3:15 PM - 5 PM
'Bang Bang You're Dead' Rehearsal 5 PM - 8 PM

Wednesday
Theatre History I 11 AM - 12:30 PM
Comp II 1:30 PM - 2:20 PM
World Civ I 3:30 PM - 4:20 PM
'Bang Bang You're Dead' Rehearsal 5 PM - 8 PM

Thursday
Stage Tech 9:30 AM - 10:45 AM
Electrics Crew (Williams) 11 AM - 2 PM
Stage Graphics 2 PM - 3:15 PM
Electrics Crew (Williams) 3:15 PM - 5 PM
'Bang Bang You're Dead' Rehearsal 5 PM - 8 PM

Friday
Theatre History I 11 AM - 12:30 PM
Comp II 1:30 PM - 2:20 PM
World Civ I 3:30 PM - 4:20 PM
'Bang Bang You're Dead' Rehearsal 5 PM - 8 PM


So that's that matter.
Oh, that reminds me! I am slowly working on my photo's from last semester to edit. I'm getting there, don't worry. I'll post some up soon, I have about two or three done so far.

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE
I just bought Photoshop CS3 Extended for...get this: $299!. I got a student discount, saving me $700!

I *Monochrome-Rainbows, and every one!

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I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”

—IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG … REPOST THIS ON YOUR JOURNAL/BLOG

I just read this from ~xXRealBoysKissBoysXx's journal. It really made me stop and think how many people like me experience homophobia









AWESOME QUOTE FROM *Monochrome-Rainbows :
"Adam, don't make more boys like you, it's slim pickins here, SLIM PICKIN'S!"

Well, I feel like writing an entry at this wonderful time in at night!

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! *Professor Farnsworth*
I got my Polaroid camera and film yesterday! It came from the wonderful land of Amazon, shipped to my college!

I heard about the Requiem For A Polaroid, and I wanted to do a shooting project with the camera. So I bought one. Look for some submissions in a while. It's gonna take me a bit to get them scanned it and posted, etc etc.

So I feel like posting my class schedule for this semester!

Composition 2 MWF 1:30 PM - 2:20 PM
History of World Civ I MWF 3:30 PM - 4:20 PM
Stage Technology I TTh 9:30 AM - 10:45 AM
Stage Graphics TTh 2:00 PM - 3:15 PM
Theatre History I WF 11:00 AM - 12:15 PM
Fencing MW 9:00 AM - 9:50 AM (3/17-5/13)

Yupp those are my classes. Not to mention on top of that, I am going to be work on building sets, painting, and electrical crew work for the upcoming show (Callan Studio) AND I got the position of Master Electrician for our Mainstage production! VERY excited about that! (Two separate shows, btw)

Oo, and today, I spent a good chunk of the day with my friend Lyla shopping in Boston! I love Boston and it's nice to be close to the city.

Not to mention I went to my first dance club! With some awesome friends from another floor. Two hott gay guy friends, and both taken! *DAMN*

*sigh*
Now we come to the emo portion of my life, at least at this point. Well, I have been behind on my editing of the bunch of negatives. And I still wanna do my own stamp. That's gonna have to wait too. I've been busy with my school work, and I know Theatre History is gonna kill me, SOOO MUCH WORK!

But, I ramble on. I've been unhappy recently. Not like, EMO DEPRESSED 24/7, but at the end of the day or night, I get into my bed, in my empty room (SOOO nice not having a roommate!) and am just really unhappy. I don't really know what I want. I want to be with someone, a really sweet and caring guy. But I don't know who to look for. I mean, I'm used to falling right for a guy when I pretty much meet him (that happened with the two guys i've dated so far), and that hasn't happened. Then I start thinking of guys I might want to fall for, and other crap, but that list goes out the window. Then there's the whole Tim situation, which I'm starting to give up on. Not only that, but I start thinking of Alex, and the feelings I used to have for him aren't really rekindling at this point. It's all a kind of blur and mixup in my head.

I NEED MY CAITLYN HERE TO KEEP ME IN ONE PIECE!

Thank you everyone for the wonderful comments, favorites, and everything else!! you all!!

I *Monochrome-Rainbows

Song List:
Paramore - We Are Broken
Evanescence - Lithium
Sara Bareilles - Gravity (Live)
Natasha Bedingfield featuring Sean Kingston - Love Like This
Sara Bareilles - City
Sara Bareilles - Gravity
Joe Misashi - In The Rain - Howl's Moving Castle OST
Colbie Caillat - Battle
Ilaria Graziano - I Do - Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex OST 2
Joe Misashi - Quiet Feelings - Howl's Moving Castle OST
Evanescence - Hello
Yuki Kajiura - Say Goodbye - .hack//sign OST
Joe Misashi - Now That's Love - Howl's Moving Castle OST
Paramore - Hallelujah
Joe Misashi - The Flower Garden - Howl's Moving Castle OST
Evanescence - Good Enough
Joe Misashi - Heart Aflutter - Howl's Moving Castle OST
Colbie Caillat - Magic

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I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”

—IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG … REPOST THIS ON YOUR JOURNAL/BLOG

I just read this from ~xXRealBoysKissBoysXx's journal. It really made me stop and think how many people like me experience homophobia









AWESOME QUOTE FROM *Monochrome-Rainbows :
"Adam, don't make more boys like you, it's slim pickins here, SLIM PICKIN'S!"

Ok, so yeah. I know the last journal was all angsty and deep. Blah blah blah.
I wasn't in the best mood after talking with my ex-boyfriend about an issue that happened awhile ago.

Anyway, moving on from that:
I'm in my second semester at college. AND today was a snow day, so no classes!!! I've been sitting on my ass watching Family Guy, Grey's Anatomy, and Avatar: The Last Airbender all day.

But, I still have to edit up a bunch of shots. I'm gonna get around to do them, I have my tablet here. Not to mention I have my 6 classes this semester, and two or three or four shows I'm going to be working on! *busy busy*

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! *Prof. Farnsworth*
I was featured in a Photography feature!!! I'm sooo excited!! Thank you SOOOOO much ~breathe-survival

[link] PLEASE TAKE A LOOK!

to all!!

I *Monochrome-Rainbows

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I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”

—IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG … REPOST THIS ON YOUR JOURNAL/BLOG

I just read this from ~xXRealBoysKissBoysXx's journal. It really made me stop and think how many people like me experience homophobia






AWESOME QUOTE FROM *Monochrome-Rainbows :
"Adam, don't make more boys like you, it's slim pickins here, SLIM PICKIN'S!"

I'm worthless. I've done some bad shit in the past that I deeply regret. I've hurt good people with my actions and don't deserve any form of forgiveness. No matter how much I think it, I can never redeem myself. No words or actions can erase what happened in the past. However, some level of forgiveness can be attained. It's up to you to decide how events in the past weigh into truly forgiving someone. How you care for someone is another factor in this matter, an important one. No one can buy forgiveness. One can only hope that forgiveness is able to be earned. Learning from our mistakes and growing is a huge part of life. A part that everyone hopes to attain.

Trust.

Big word. Huge concept. Something that can be so easily broken, yet so tough to earn. One can only hope that it can be earned after once lost. No one change the course of events, only hope that two people can begin to trust once again.
No matter how many times you beg, how many times you cry, how many times you plead, trust must be decided by the one who was broken.

Broken

'I never meant to hurt you'. Simple words, but something so strong. Breaking someone's trust. Again, something so wrong. Again, begging for forgiveness. Hurting someone who trusts you so much, and breaking that trust you worked so hard to build.

Actions speak louder than words
Very true, but words must not be simply thrown away, discarded with the wind. Words carry meaning, relay messages of love and hope. When it comes down to it,
you must listen and look at both actions and the words that those you care about say.

</end rant>


Listening to Paramore - Riot! (whole album)

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I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

I am the man who fears that I will never be able to be myself, to be free of this secret because I won’t risk loosing my family and friends.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don’t believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to “teach me a lesson”

—IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG … REPOST THIS ON YOUR JOURNAL/BLOG

I just read this from ~xXRealBoysKissBoysXx's journal. It really made me stop and think how many people like me experience homophobia

AWESOME QUOTE FROM *Monochrome-Rainbows :
"Adam, don't make more boys like you, it's slim pickins here, SLIM PICKIN'S!"